See you soon...

Today marks the last day that I embark in this blog. This blog has taught me a lot about my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to communicating. Now that this quarter is over I would like the time to self-reflect and come up when a blog that encompasses me beautifully. My mind is full of possibilities on how I communicate to this world and one will be blogging. See, I believe God put me on this earth to communicate, to learn and teach from other people, and to make a name for myself that people won't forget. It won't be about my looks or clothing but my spirit and my good nature is what I believe God wants me to showcase. Taking this class has taken me out of my comfort zone by challenging me to be open. Now, I believe I'm an open book who needs to tell her story to the world. I believe when you do that your open yourself to possibilities and you never know who you can help by telling your story. As I leave I want to leave you some tips to live a beautiful life.

1. Embrace who you are, never change for anyone

2. You are worth it

3. There is nobody on this earth better than you. I don't care if your Beyonce or Joe living down the street you are somebody! 

4. Share your story. You never know who you may be helping.

Also one thing I picked up during my journey is the importance of listening. Take the time to listen to what people are trying to tell you. You never know what nugget of important information that you might miss

Again, you will see me soon. I'm not sure in what capacity but you will know my name.....Destini!

Peace, Love, and Happiness,

Destini

Bad Decisions...Good Intentions....

“An expert is someone who has succeeded in making decisions and judgments simpler through knowing what to pay attention to and what to ignore.” — Edward de Bono


Drake the popular rapper from Canada, coined the popular term Bad Decisions...Good Intentions in his hit song "All of the Lights. After watching the TED video""Why We Make Bad Decisions"  video I realize just how much sense this phrase means.


I'll be honest I can't count how many times I had made a bad decision about something. From relationships, life choices, money, to even picking something to eat, I have had made my fair share of bad decisions. I believe in learning for others so I'll share a story to show you a good example

In my early twenties there was a man I was crushing on hard....I mean hard! There was a party that we would both be attending in a couple of day and I made it my mission to find the perfect outfit. I searched high and low until I found a "ballerina" skirt at a local department store that I loved. The skirt was beautiful but the problem was the skirt was over $200.....yes $200 for a ballerina skirt, this price didn't even include the matching top. I had to do it and just like that I shelled out almost $300 for this outfit to empress a man. So it's time for the party and I arrive thinking he would go crazy over my look, boy was I wrong. He didn't say anything about it. I was crushed and spent the night sitting at the bar not having fun. That night made me realize that what you wear can't cause anybody to like you it must be organic because if he truly liked me it didn't care if my outfit was $20  or $200 dollars.

TED video teaches two things

Two Errors We Make 

We make two errors when making decisions:

• 1.  the odds

• 2.  the value

We overestimate or underestimate the odds that it will happen.  For example, when surveyed, people vastly overestimate how many people die from fireworks or tornadoes.  At the same time, they vastly underestimate how many people die from Asthma or drowning.  Why?  Because we base it on what we’re familiar with or can easily see in our mind, whether it’s from the media or our own experience.
According to Gilbert, estimating odds is a piece of cake compared to estimating the value. We make a couple of mistakes here.  One mistake is that we compare the scenario to the past instead of the possibilities.  For example, if you lost your ticket on the way to the movies, you won’t buy another one because you already spend the $10.  On the other hand, if you lost $10 on the way to the movies, you would still spend another $10 to buy the ticket.  In both cases, you’re down $10.  In the first case, you compare it to the past where you only spent $10 on a ticket and buying another would make it feel like you’re spending $20.
You can turn this insight into action using some quick checks whenever you need to make a decision:

• Ask yourself how you can check or better assess the actual odds of success.
• Rather than compare to the past, compare to the possibilities and net results.
• Rather than comparing against the immediate options on the table, test the value against the actual experience.  (For example, A might look better than B in the show room, but B might be a better fit for your actual scenario.)

We overestimate or underestimate the odds of success and we overestimate or underestimate how much we will actually value the gain.

Errors in Odds 

Errors in Value 

Another mistake we make is when we compare at the time of purchase, but not our actual experience.  For example, at the music store, the stereo might sound better compared to another one.  When we play it at home though, we will never compare that experience again.  In another example, we might pick a wine based on prices compared to other extreme prices on the shelf, but when we’re home we’ll just be comparing the taste.

3 Ways to Make Better Decisions 

When we can't easily verify the odds, one thing that can help sometimes is just asking some questions.  For example, if a doctor or mechanic wants to go down a certain path, I’ll ask them how many they’ve dealt with before and what their success rate is.  There’s a big difference whether this is somebody’s first time or if they’ve seen this 100 times before.

Just image if people all over the world did the things suggested in the TED video. It would stop a lot of confusion.  With that said never feel bad about making a bad decisions here are some things you can do.

• Take full responsibility. The first step you must take when having made a poor choice is recognize the part you played in a situation. It does no good at all to make excuses or rationalize or pretend that, for whatever reason, you aren't to blame. If you want to move forward from wherever you've found yourself, you have to take responsibility for your choices and actions. 
• Understand your choices. Next, it's essential that you understand why you made the decision you made. Keep in mind that this is not a time to think of excuses for why it happened; this is a time to understand why it happened so you can avoid making similar decisions in the future. Really take some time to think about why you did what you did so you can begin to move on. 
• Apologize and explain. If your decision hurt anyone else, the best thing you can do is apologize and explain. Don't offer excuses or try to play down the situation in any way. Be honest and open with those you have hurt and explain to them what you realized from Step 2. Once you've done that, it's also important to apologize to yourself and do what you can to come to terms with your decision. 
• Focus on the present. When you've made a bad decision, it can be tempting to dwell on that but, believe me, that's a waste of time. The most productive thing you can do to move forward from your choice is to focus on what's happening now. Cut yourself some slack and begin to focus on the positive things you're currently doing instead of the negative things you have done. 
  
  
• Be proactive in the future. The best thing you can do for yourself when you find that you've knowingly made a bad decision is to find ways to be proactive after the fact. Ask yourself what can be fixed or changed now. And then think about what you can do in the future to make sure you don't find yourself making similar decisions. Don't downplay the importance of taking future action.