Emotions make you cry sometimes.....
Let’s be real for a second. Teenagers go through a lot
of emotional turmoil throughout their teenage years. As parents we sometime
dismiss their thoughts and what’s going on in their life.
Here are some ways to help teenagers get through rough
patches.
Use the logic of left brain to make
sense out of feelings in the right - Simply telling our children to
"calm down" or "stop crying" is not an effective way to
help them through what Dr. Bryson calls "emotional tsunamis. “Demanding
our kids be rational when they are operating under the influence of their
irrational right brains is a mis-attuned effort often made in vain. Instead,
offer your child empathy. Acknowledge that they are feeling bad, scared,
frustrated etc. and express that you are sorry they're in pain. As they become
calmer, ask them to explain what upset them and help guide them through their
story, while investigating what triggered the meltdown.
Help kids tell their story -
Protective as we may be, our kids will all experience at least mildly traumatic events.
Mean teachers who ridiculed them, scary seconds when they got lost in the
supermarket; instances that incited fear, anger, or sadness will
arise. We can help our kids resolve these traumas when they occur by supporting
their effort to make sense out of what happened to them. This process starts
with talking to them about it. Don't avoid stressful topics in
hopes that your kids will forget all about the incident. Instead, gently guide
your children, as they tell you their story. "When did you notice your mother
wasn't around? How did you feel when you realized you were lost?' Talking
may seem difficult at first, but the more a child can make sense of his or her
story, the more integrated and calm he or she will become. Contrarily, any
unresolved trauma can present problems later in life.
Teach your child that feelings go
through us - When our child has calmed down, it is helpful to explain to
them that feelings, even intense emotions, come and go. Our emotions pass through
us like waves, building and building until finally they reach their peak,
crash, and subside. We can't choose these feelings, but we can decide
how we will behave when they arise. We can be curious about them and talk about
them, all the while understanding that they won't last forever.
Rupture and repair - Parents
are human. We mess up, we say the wrong thing, and sometimes we let our own
emotions get in the way. When this happens, we can help our kids a great deal
by talking to them about what happened and how we behaved. We shouldn't be
afraid to say sorry when we make mistakes. Be open about your own story.
Explain how you overreacted because you felt angry or afraid. By relaxing and
acknowledging your reaction, you are demonstrating how to calm down, a lesson
your children can apply when they find themselves in similar situations.
Keep calm and carry on - We've
all either seen or been that mother who is getting into a full-on argument with
their two-year-old about putting a sweater on, or that father who is
practically throwing his own tantrum as his kid cries over what he's served for
lunch. No matter what the scenario, losing our temper is never the solution.
Letting our emotional right brains take over only teaches our kids to feel as
out of control as we're behaving. Our own unresolved traumas and negative early
experiences will constantly inform our reactions to our kids. Be aware of what
triggers you and be sure to separate the emotions these events stir up from
your kids' independent experience.
By being more attuned to our kids,
understanding their developing mind, and actively seeking out and implementing
effective strategies to help them cope, we are doing them a great service in
arming them with tools that will not only strengthen their own resilience but will
be passed on to future generations.
One way to help teenagers out is encourage
them to start a blog. Here are some tips for them to start the process:
1. Make sure that you speak to
your parent(s) before trying to become a teen blogger. They absolutely must know about your plans and will likely be able
to help you in your efforts.
2. When starting as a blogger
you have two choices. First, let a web developer create a website for you
(which can be expensive) or second, just do it yourself. I recommend you do it
yourself and have a tutorial to make the process very easy.
3. To begin, you’ll need to
create your own blog on WordPress to practice on. For this, you’ll need a
hosting account and I recommend that you use Siteground. To begin,use Siteground and then click the video below watch a tutorial
video of the sign-up process and how to install WordPress. If you need to
figure out your domain name pay attention to the site
4. Now that you have a blog,
you’ll need to get the proper training necessary to become a good blogger. You
can do this in a number of ways, I recommend that you join Lynda.com. They offer
a free 10-day trial and you should get your parent’s permission before you
start.
5. Once you’ve joined Lynda.com,
I recommend you to search the course "Creating Better Blog Content by
Virginia O'Connor" to get started. In it, you’ll learn a lot about how to
blog effectively and connect with your readers.
6. Once you’ve trained
yourself and are comfortable with creating blog posts, it’s time to get
writing. Begin by writing your first post and share it on social media.
(Helpful Hint: If you need an image for your blog post, you can use
Pixabay.com. DO NOT pull images directly off of Google, that can get you in legal
trouble.)
7. Now that you’ve written
your first blog post, you need to make sure that you are tracking how many
people visit it from your social media. The best way to do that is to use
Google Analytics and here is a
video explaining how to install it.
8. Once you’ve begun to get
some traffic, it’s best to join an email marketing platform. This way, you can
get people to sign up to your email list and then bring them back to your
website with emails on a regular basis. We recommend that you join Aweber for
this. To begin, click here to
open up Aweber and then click here to watch a good tutorial
video on how to set it up.
9. Congratulations! You’re
officially a blogger and now you should publish new content regularly to get
readers to come back to your website often. Over time, your content will begin
to get ranked in Google and when people search for something related to your
topic, you’ll eventually pop up as a search result and get free traffic. Once
you have over 1,000 people in traffic monthly, consider adding Google Adsense
to your website or use Affiliate Marketing to make more money.
